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The only bills I like are Murray and Withers.

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Every month I receive my big fat salary deposited into my surprisingly svelte bank account but I oft feel as though the money is in and out within a few days like a new lover that promises the world and then jumps the next cross-country train once I ‘give it up’. I feel at times like I am hemorrhaging money what with transferring funds to savings, to pay for day trips, cafeteria fees, holidays and paying off various bar tabs (damn you O’Brien’s and your tempting liquids!) I have found the best way to stave off the negative feelings I get from spending money on things that aren’t immediately going to satisfy my outlandish whims is to pretend it isn’t happening (as opposed to maturely accepting that, as an adult, I need to meet my obligations). How to pretend it isn’t happening? Pay by card and never see cash or look at your bank balance. BINGO!

This is all an overlong way of giving you instructions on how to use the special bill pay machines in your local, friendly bank branch to pay for…YOUR BILLS!

This is based on the machine in KEB bank but I’m sure the instructions on-screen will be much the same for other banks with a similar service (in fact, be a dear and mention in the comments on Facebook if this works on machine at other banks. Ta!).

First the machine should be with the ATMs but isn’t one of them. It looks like this:

pic 1

Now to get your robot friend to assist you insert your card all up in it and you will get this pleasing screen:

pic 2

The button you’re looking for is the top left one that says 지로공괴금 which google usefully doesn’t translate but hopefully it’s the same at other banks. When you hit the button you will be brought here encouraged to insert your bill (remove the bits that aren’t the actual bill such as the address segment etc. As a guide, if you’re not sure, the bit to be inserted will have the total amount due on it.)

pic 3

Look I’m putting it in now like an end of level boss!

pic 4

When you put the bill in you will get the following screen with the amount being paid on it. At this point you will insert other bills that you are paying. I paid my gas and SK Broadband in the machine but feel free to experiment with other bills and let us know if it works. This is the total screen:

pic 5

When you’ve inserted all the bills they will be listed and the total provided at the bottom. Press the green button on the right there and you will get this screen:

pic 6

This is where you enter your pin number but be sure to cover it with your hands in case some crafty bugger tries to read it over your shoulder or takes a photo under the suspicious pretense they are writing an article for some obscure information blog. Once you’ve done that you should have a mere moment to wait before you receive a receipt and your card back. With any luck you’ve now paid your bills.

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